5 Things That Might Get Your Washington State Card Revoked!

My friend Nate says if you think that everything in the landscape is green and forested then you deserve to have your Washington state card revoked.


Before I moved here in 2002, I had no idea what to expect from living in the Evergreen State, let alone what the landscape would be besides a bunch of evergreen trees. I was so gullible that when I first saw that infamous "Welcome to the Palm Springs of Washington" sign right off the I-82 freeway in Yakima, I thought it meant there would be literal palm trees here. Wow, I was ever mistaken!


Welcome to Yakima the Palm Springs of Washington sign

Over the years, I've decided that there are a few tell-tale things that if you do or haven't done, you deserve to get your Washington card revoked. Have fun with this list, it's all jokes!

You don't like coffee.

I quickly learned that all the coffee isn't Starbucks, in fact, there are many people who would fight you if you said Starbucks is the best coffee in the state. I have grown partial to Northtown Coffee, Crave, and Dutch Brothers over the years. Sue me!

You've never been to the top of the Space Needle.

I might catch a ton of revoked Washington cards for this one because there are hundreds of thousands of native Washingtonians who have probably never been up the elevator on the Space Needle and seen the top on the inside. I took my daughter Willow up there when she was 3. I spent most of the time chasing her around the Space Needle because that little girl loved to run away from me. I spent most of our time up there trying to keep Willow from running in and out of the elevator every time the door opened, but I think there is a restaurant up there that revolves. Sounds pretty romantic and touristy. I wouldn't know, I had a toddler to catch up with!

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You bust out the umbrella when it rains (specific to Seattle).

I am old enough to recall being laughed at by random locals on the street when I whipped my umbrella out during a rainstorm in downtown Seattle. They didn't have the same hair texture that I do, so I don't give a flip if you laugh at me or not, if my hair is freshly done I refuse to let the Pacific Northwest rain butcher it up!

You haven't been to a concert at The Gorge.

If you don't already know that the Dave Mathews Band plays at The Gorge nearly every Labor Day Weekend, then are you really even a Washingtonian?! There are also many stories people can tell you about concerts they've attended at The Gorge, like Watershed, Paradiso, or Ozzfest!

Huskies or Cougars: You haven't chosen a side!

I learned early on after moving to Washington state that even though there are over 300 community colleges, private colleges, and public universities, college football basically comes down to only two teams and I had better choose which team I preferred wisely. Apple Cup is practically a state holiday. People will either take off from work to drive over to the big game or they will skip work and go to fun events like the one I was invited to a couple of years ago at the Convention Center. (I have chosen the side of the University of Washington Huskies, don't throw tomatoes at me!)

So do I need to revoke your Washington state card or what?


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