4 Things You Must Should Do If You Come Across a Cougar in Yakima

Have you seen a lone cougar prowling in the city lately? Many residents reported seeing a cougar at Randall Park in Yakima a couple of days ago, including law enforcement, according to a report from KIMA-TV. That is just too close to the city limits for my liking. What if that had been YOU at Randall Park, minding your own business and you came across a cougar, would you freak out? Do you have any idea of the things you must do should you come across a cougar in Yakima? Well, I do!

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Would you know what to do to fend off a cougar if you spotted one in Yakima's wooded areas? The National Park Service says we should "wave [our] arms slowly and speak firmly in a loud voice" if we see a cougar.

Roger, that!



Here are a couple of recommended things to NOT do should you come across a wily cougar in Yakima and beyond:
#1: Do Not Run away. If you see a cougar and then run away from it, especially while screaming, it will just bust a move and in a couple of leaps, you'll be his win-win chicken din!
#2: Do Not Stand Still. That cougar will look at you like a 20-piece chicken nugget meal if you just stand there and do nothing when you two lock eyes.
#3: Do Not Mean Mug It. Don't give a cougar the stink eye because it is not phased by that.
4: Do Not Bow Down. Look, I know cats think they run the world and back in the day so did quite a few ancient royalty types, but don't crouch down and bow down because the cougar will be like, "Yeah, I know that's right. You look like a nice snack to me!" and then it will eat you.

SEE ALSO: There Are 8 Yakima Hidden Gems I Don’t Really Want You to Know About 

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Here are 3 things you should do if you come across a wild cougar:
#1: Choke a cougar OUT. One person who encountered a wild cougar tried waving his arms and whatnot but that didn't do the trick (see Travis Kautmann). He had to end up choking a cougar out when he was attacked. I know this seems scary, but it's either him or you.
#2: Throw some big stuff at it, preferably big rocks, big sticks, big shoes. "My shoes?" you might exclaim. My reasoning on this is that hopefully, the stench from your big shoes will send that cougar packing back to the woods.
#3: Use throwing stars and/or tase that SOB. Whoops, we are not not allowed to carry a taser in Washington state. I better research some better legal options to carry in case you come across a country cougar in the big city.
#4: Be Aggressive and start talking (or singing) loudly. If you are loud and start speaking HUMAN, you will appear a bit scary to a cougar. If you do whatever you can to seem larger than you are, the cougar will likely decide you are just not worth the pounce and then HE will bounce (outta there).

Moral of the story: Judging from the cougar safety tips I've found online, it looks like the best thing we can do if we need to fight off a cougar in Yakima is to walk backwards slowly and start singing something loudly.

EXTRA TIP: If you sing anything by Pitbull, Blake Shelton, Andrea Bocelli, Metallica, or Selena, a Yakima cougar would probably LIKE IT and in turn, like YOU as a snack. If you sing anything by BTS, JoJo Siwa, or Enya, the cougar is likely to become confused and/or turned off because from what I understand, cougars are not really into K-Pop, New Age Music, or Nickelodeon stars. Are you paying attention? These tips I'm giving you just might save your life.


Side Note: I am now simultaneously frightened out of my wits yet fascinated at the same time because during the course of me writing up this article, I have come to the realization that I would probably get eaten up in a heartbeat if I came across a cougar in the Yakima wild.

Good luck out there!

Seen a cougar? Report it here. Where have cougars been seen in Washington state? Click here.

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